you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
