if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
