is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
