so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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