used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize