Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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