"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
