I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
