I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
