I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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