ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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