I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
