Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
