physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
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i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
last night I used snow as a chaser
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