areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
