you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
