Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
