I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In America we eat man semen.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
