Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i drank out of a bidet.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
