this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
