Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
