i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
