we're blogging at a bar
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
