Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
i need some magic done to my vagina
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
