I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
