Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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