the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
