I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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