did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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