Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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