I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
