The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
