but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
