Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
