Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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