Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
