i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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