i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
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i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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