very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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