i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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