im holly from the hills drunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
