that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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