I love black thongs
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My vagina is very pro this idea
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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