I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
