So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
What a dumb baby whore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
