So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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