I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
