Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.

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  (508): billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down. http://tfl.nu/h3l0
  Replies (11) Good night (1181) Bad night (3626)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit

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  (770): At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit http://tfl.nu/qd4t
  Replies (63) Good night (1218) Bad night (7592)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water

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  (508): He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water http://tfl.nu/2dzm
  Replies (11) Good night (2475) Bad night (3255)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

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  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1906) Bad night (922)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Come over. Drunk tacos.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  That isn't even a sentence.

  (214): View more from Texas

  I kept the important parts.

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  (214): Come over. Drunk tacos. (1-214): That isn't even a sentence. (214): I kept the important parts. http://tfl.nu/2pq0
  Replies (8) Good night (4843) Bad night (928)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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  (+61): Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon. http://tfl.nu/pw6n
  Replies (9) Good night (2068) Bad night (652)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

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  (402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5
  Replies (8) Good night (1783) Bad night (819)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Vodka shot parachutes

  (265): View more from

  Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room

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  (202): Vodka shot parachutes (265): Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room http://tfl.nu/h39d
  Replies (3) Good night (1319) Bad night (582)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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  (419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h
  Replies (16) Good night (3007) Bad night (609)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

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  (252): Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips. http://tfl.nu/vfz4
  Replies (6) Good night (1441) Bad night (518)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV

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  (478): IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV http://tfl.nu/p33s
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1547)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

  (1-516): View more from New York

  You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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  (516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb
  Replies (4) Good night (808) Bad night (317)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life

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  (219): I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life http://tfl.nu/kbbl
  Replies (4) Good night (463) Bad night (328)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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  (847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (962)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.

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  (501): Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys. http://tfl.nu/a792
  Replies (3) Good night (1143) Bad night (385)

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