Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night