Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Found the puke drawer
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.