i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.