nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
