All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize