ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
