Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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