I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
