I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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