It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
