im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
