At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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