Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
