but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
