I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
