I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
