I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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