Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
